Ep. 1: Exotic and Irrational Entertainment

Shift: Bored, bored, boredy, boredity, boredy, bored, bored. God, we have to get a TV in here...

(Suddenly, they all hear male opera singing. Haukura plugs his ears and yells in pain.)

Haukura: AAAAAAAHH!!! What's that god-awful sound!?

(Brick sticks his head out of a nearby door.)

Brick: Hey! My singing is not "god-awful"!

Haukura: Oh, really? It sure sounds that way!

Brick: Smartass.

(He slams the door.)

Mr. Fortune Cookie: Ah, the wonders of opera, where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings.

Narrator: The next morning, at 4:30 AM...

(Haukura is sleeping in his room without his armor, when suddenly he hears Brick singing again and bolts upright in bed.)

Haukura: Not again. This calls for drastic measures!

(He grabs a steeltoe boot that's next to the door and walks up to Brick's room. A scene shows the shadow of Haukura kicking Brick's shadow, after which Brick yells and a bunch of oil splashes on the wall the camera is aimed at. Haukura walks back to his room and kicks off the now oil-stained boot.)

Haukura: I tried asking nicely, but he just went too far this time.

Narrator: That doesn't look too good, now does it?

(Several hours later, Jeremy, Shift, and Mr. Fortune Cookie are watching TV. Haukura and Brick haven't come out of their rooms yet. Yami and Draconis walk into the room.)

Yami: Draconis and I are going out noob-hunting. Later.

(Yami and Draconis go to a closet. During the course of the next scene, you can see them take a couple of shotguns out of the closet and say something inaudible. Yami pretends to shoot something, then they cock the guns.)

Shift: What's taking Brick and Haukura so long?

Mr. Fortune Cookie: Maybe they got sucked into that black hole in the dryer.

Jeremy: We don't have a black hole in the dryer.

Mr. Fortune Cookie: Then explain... THIS!

(Mr. Fortune Cookie is only wearing one sock. Sweatdrops appear on Jeremy and Shift's heads.)

Jeremy: Weirdo.

Mr. Fortune Cookie: Thank you, I try.

(Suddenly, Brick comes out of his room with a black eye.)

Yami: What happened to you?

(Brick walks over to Yami.)

Yami: Uh, Brick? Why are you looking at me like that?

(Brick grabs Yami and throws him out a nearby window.)

Yami: I regret nothing!

Shift: What's got you so pissed off?

Brick: Haukura interrupted my 4:30 AM concert practice.

Shift: You were singing opera at 4:30 AM?

Brick: I WAS until he kicked me in the face with a steeltoe boot.

Jeremy: Ooh! You got pwned by a scarab beetle!

(Brick eyes Jeremy evilly.)

Jeremy: Uh, bye.

(He flies up to his room and slams the door. Meanwhile, Haukura comes down the stairs. Brick grins and rubs his hands together evilly.)

Brick: Hoohoohoo... I just got an idea.

(Brick sneaks into his room and comes out with a potato sack.)

Brick: Time for Haukura to face the music!

(He goes into the TV room, bags Haukura and runs off as the screen goes black. Later, Haukura wakes up tied to a chair.)

Haukura: What the- what's going on here?

(Brick steps out from the shadows and clears his throat.)

Brick: Welcome, Haukura. I decided that if you don't like my singing, I'll just have to do it the hard way.

Haukura: You wouldn't dare, you sick bastard, you.

Brick: Wouldn't I?

(Brick starts singing opera yet again. Haukura yells in pain, and eventually his head starts sparking.)

Haukura: Brick! Stop! My audio sensors are overloading!

(Brick continues singing, causing the sides of Haukura's head to break off. He stops.)

Brick: Uh, Haukura? You okay?

(Haukura doesn't respond.)

Brick: Uh, oh. SHIFT! HAUKURA'S HEAD BLEW UP!

(Shift flies into the room.)

Shift: What was that? It sounded like you said-

(He sees Haukura.)

Shift: If you did what I think you did, you're in deep trouble.

Brick: Apparently, it didn't work the way I planned.

Shift: No duh. I'm telling the others about this!

(He unties Haukura and they both run off. Brick runs after them.)

Brick: GAH! NO! COME BACK!

(He continues running after them and the screen goes black.)

THE END!